…to see what condition my condition is in…

Actually, I’m just wanting to let everyone know I am still among the living, such as it is. I’m real busy at work, trying to catch up on things that couldn’t get done during the holidays because so many people were not around.

In my non-working world I have been doing squat. I’m really just going through the motions these days and have been almost overwhelmed with a total lack of motivation. Don’t know what’s up with that, but I hope it passes soon.

Carol sent me a webcam, CIV IV, and a DVD (Don Juan DeMarco). I watched the DVD last night. I installed CIV IV, but I think it may demand more than my computer can handle because the graphics are all messed up. Land mass is black, and the characters in the video clips look like ghosts, all you can see are the eyes. Weird. I’m going to reinstall and see if it will start working.

I did successfully install the webcam. So, I can see myself on the screen and record videos, but I’m not sure how I can have a “live” view of myself transmitted to anyone who cares to see my ugly mug, which I guess is the point. Anyone know how that is supposed to work? The instruction book does not go beyond the install.

I can’t seem to shake this disquieting feeling of impending doom. I don’t know what the implications are, but if I happen to die suddenly, you heard it here first. I know that sounds morbid, but people I have known for years are recently departing the earth and I’ve begun to wonder if I’m going to be next. Well, maybe it’s not about me at all. Or maybe I’m losing my mind along with my body. Or maybe I just think too much. Ah well. No point in worrying, what will be will be. You’d think though with these feelings I’d live everyday like it was my last, but no, I just keep meandering along wasting time and not taking advantage of life’s blessings. F it. This too shall pass, right?

Carol had a thrill yesterday. The VRE (the commuter train to DC) she rides to work derailed at Possum Point. It used to cross my mind that derailing on one of those bridges would be like my worst nightmare, but thankfully in this case no one was seriously hurt.

Pool league starts up next week. I’m not sure if I made the roster or not, I understand they have picked up some new players from another bar. I honestly don’t care one way or the other. I’ve been playing a little better but that’s without the stress of match play.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m not as down and out as this post may lead you to believe, I’m just in a funk. Maybe if the temperature would get above freezing I could drag my sorry ass out of the house and my outlook might improve. Then again, I find the whole Itaewon scene more than a little depressing. What I need to do is get out of the city and have some adventure. Soon perhaps. Soon.

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